Editorials

This month's topics:


People that drive slow in the fast lane.

GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY WAY!!!!

What the fuck is it with this country? Why the hell is it that people don't realize that on a three lane highway, the left lane is the fast lane? You get these assholes who are cruising along doing a lovely 50mph in a the left lane. When you come running up on their ass all they do is sit there. If you are lucky you can go around them, or MAYBE they will eventually move to their right so you can pass.

The right lane is for slow-ass drivers who don't give a fuck about getting anywhere on time. The center lane is for people who are either passing the slow-asses or getting out of the way of the fast guys. The LEFT lane is for people like ME, who need to go somewhere and get there NOW!!!!!

Here are some ways to keep assholes from driving slow in the fast lane:


People that don't like a lot of meat on their sandwiches.

This is a matter of respect for your fellow man. If you don't like a lot of meat on your sandwich, don't let the people making the sandwiches know, you're fucking it up for the rest of us. Go back to your place of residence with your fucking diet soda and Sun Chips® and pull meat off your sandwich until it is shitty and thin enough for you. Delis get wind of the fact that people are eating healthier and some idiots actually say stuff like "Uhhh, no no no... not that much meat!!" and they think they can get away with making a sandwich so pathetic that they should be shot. The public majority sets the standards. Getting more meat on your sandwich is not going to hurt you and will only help others. You can always take it off. When some cheap prick deli owner won't stack 'em high and people like you let them get away with it, those of us that prefer a lot of meat are left high and dry. - Al Kikuras