Starring: Jenna Jameson, Jill Kelly, Johnni Black, Sindee Coxx, Missy, Brittany Andrews, Sydnee Steel,
Asia Carrera, a bunch of guys, and a special appearance by Veronica Hart.
Directed by: Brad Armstrong
Piston: Hello.
Al: Big in your ass!!
Piston: Mike is a bitch, I just wanted to get that on the record.
Al: Is that "on the record?"
Piston: Sure, why not?
Al: What did you think of Jenna in Flashpoint?
Piston: I thought she looked good, but was lame as always, not as bad as in the past, but nothing exciting.
Al: Really? I was impressed with her sexual performance in the film, her acting is another matter.
Piston: She had three scenes, right?
Al: She gave a much better blowjob than I can recall. When I saw her last, that is. Let me check... counting the lesbian scene?
Piston: The first scene is whith her and that boyfriend guy.. Yes, counting the lesbian scene. That was OK, but I think it could have been better.
Al: Three. My favorite of which is the fantasy scene. I agree about the lesbian scene, I did not care for Brittany Andrews, who she was paired against. But she looks fucking GREAT in that tub pic. Shame it wasn't in the movie...
Piston: BigDick (Mike) says that she wasn't too bad, but that she and Asia should have done the lesbian scene together.
Al: Asia and Brittany? Are we talking about Gay Mike?
Piston: Mike wants to be called Ball Buster instead.
Al: He's Gay to me. His mama named him Gay, I'm gonna call him Gay.
Piston: He doesn't want that name.
Al: Is he there?
Piston: Yep. Wait... he says we can call him Gay.
Al: Is he sitting in on the review?
Piston: No, just popped in and I asked his opinion. Now he wont shut up.
Piston: I think this was Jenna's best movie, but I'm not going to give her a rave review. She is hot, but I find her boring. Gay's gone.
Al: Well, how many of her's have you seen?
Piston: About five. My biggest problem with the film is that the script, while being a full script, wasn't a porn script. It wasn't a turn-on in an of itself.
Al: I agree with you there. It is funny though, although not intentionally. To be honest, the script was so far removed from the sex I fast-forwarded most of the dialog.
Piston: They give this guy Brad Armstrong a big, big budget, and her fucks it up.
Al: It looked to be very high-budget as it whizzed by.
Piston: There were two fucking explosions, for Christ's sake! He tries to do shit like Kris Kramski does (have a good script), but he needs to watch some old school porn to learn how to make it erotic.
Al: I thought he (Brad Armstrong) did so in Exile, at least, moreso.
Piston: Flashpoint was like a bad porno, with a script.
Al: I would say a good porno with a bad script.
Piston: Think about it, there was 15 minutes of dialogue before the first sex scene. And a lot of fucking crying. I don't want to see a girl crying in my porno.
Al: It was 90 seconds to me... I fast forwarded it all. I give you credit for actually watching it!! I didn't! Maybe that is why I like it so much more, I "circumvented" the dialog...
Piston: The threesome with Jill Kelly, a chick, and a guy was wonderful.
Al: Johnni Black?
Piston: Yeah, that was her. The scene with Asia in it was great also. Asia is always wonderful. Big Tittie Carwash (one of our contributors) didn't think the Asia scene was all that great, but I loved it. I give Wicked credit for putting that type of budget into a porno. I enjoyed Flashpoint, because it was free, but to be honest, if I had paid money for it I would have been pissed.
Al: I wouldn't have been pissed, because I would have been paying for the sex, not the dialog, and the sex was good. AND there was a lot of it.
Piston: I pay for the whole thing. To quote Kris, "If your only motivation is to jerk off, rent videos from a company called "Homegrown". They have a good line of amateur sex.No bulshit, the real stuff; straight to the point." I want more, or should say, expect more when I rent a movie like Flashpoint.
Al: Yeah, but you didn't rent it... take the orgy scene... I think the orgy scene was excellent... and I really like Jill Kelly throughout the film.
Piston: But I'm reviewing it for people that will either buy if or rent it. They wont get it for free.
Al: Asia is great too, and Sydnee Steele is fine but her tit job is way too stiff.
Piston: This sex overall was good, better than average. And there was a lot of it, but...
Al: But?
Piston: The film offered more than it delivered.
Al: So Sydnee Steele... opinion on her?
Piston: Who is she again?
Al: Girl in the Asia scene.
Piston: I don't like her face.
Al: Very tight body, though. Her tits are a little TOO tight...they are like cement.
Piston: She has a weird face, like she has been smoking cigarettes too long. She looks about 10 years older than she is.
Al: Like an old italian lady in training? She reminds me of the mom from the Tom Hanks movie Big, who is also the girl from Total Recall, if I am correct.
Piston: Oh yeah, but with a better body, but I think she is lame too.
Al: Asia looks wonderful in that scene... wonderful...
Piston: Wait, you mean the sexy chick that Arnold fights with?
Al: No no no no... that is Sharon Stone!
Piston: No, the other chick, I mean fights with as in on the same side.
Al: Yes! Her... the hooker.
Piston: I don't think they are the same chicks.
Al: Really? I think so. We'll have to check some other time.
Al: I really like the Jenna/TT Boy scene! What is your opinion of Missy? The girl Jonathan Morgan fucks... the fireman groupie...
Piston: She is good, I liked her.
Al: I liked the orgy scene. I think the film was well edited in that they didn't show "just insertion" shots for too long or a guy's balls and ass for 10 minutes. The cast is some of the biggest names going...
Piston: True, true. Editing was good. Even the non-sex shit was done well.
Al: I love Jill Kelly in the orgy... when they soap her up.
Piston: That scene was OK, but too much going on at once, threw me off.
Al: True. There the editing was a bit much... they jumped too often, but the sex is great and it is nice to see a movie that is shot on actual film!
Al: Overall?
Piston: * * * 1/2
Al: I say * * * * if you fast-forward
Al: Acting?
Piston: * * * *. I think for a porno, it was above average.
Al: Not applicable, I fast forwarded through all the acting.
Al: Jerk-Off Potential? I give it * * * *.
Piston: * * * *, the sex was good.
Al: Fast Forwarding?
Piston: *
Al: I agree, *, because of all the irrlelevant dialog, although I did not get the urge to fast forward the sex, aside from the bathroom scene. As far as sex I would give it a * * * * for fast forwarding.
Piston: I did at times.
Al: At times, yes, but considerably less than most pornos.
Al: Editing.
Piston: * * * *
Al: * * * 1/2
Piston: Sex. I say * * * *
Al: * * * *
Piston: Script: * * * * * for the amout of it, but * * for quality.
Al: Script: * * * * as it was actually more well written than most pornos, but * * because who gives a fuck?
Piston: yep
Al: the script had nothing to do with the sex
Piston: Big expectations, but I was left high and dry.
Al: I had moderate expectations, and I was left happy... but then you watched the dialog and I didn't... so the moral of the story is, FAST FORWARD.
Piston: To sum up, good sex + poor script + big budget = The Ishtar of the porn field. I'm done. It's a wrap.
Al: Amen...
For ordering info, visit the Wicked Pictures web site
Flashpoint (Wicked Pictures, '97)