Starring: Nikki Lynn, Emily, Roxanne Hall, Ember Haze, Randee Lee, Brittany Platinum, Jacklyn Lick, Steve Hatcher, Matt Jade, Ian Daniels, Michael Hurt.
Directed By: Jim DiGiorgio
- OVERALL: * *
- SEX: * * *
- ACTING: *
- SCRIPT: * *
- J.O.P.: * *
- FAST-FORWARDING: * * *
- EDITING: * *
Watching the opening credits to this video, I actually got off my butt and changed the batteries in my...er.....well, in any case, I thought it was going to be a good one. The credits were interesting...and the intro could have led up to something good.....the supposed owner of a strip club talking to the camera......Then, just when I'm all excited, the scene cuts to the most god-awful dork of a guy. Now this is what I would term "camcorder porn." While I'm a firm believer that bad porn is better than no porn, I think there are just some people I would prefer not to see having sex. The girl in this 
scene had visible stretch-marks on her ass and one of her fake nails was missing...yes I notice things like this......and damn, what is that brown shit on her crotch anyway?? I don't think I want to know......And the guy was sooo nasty......he reminded me of my sister's ex.....OK we won't go there...heh......
The acting was soooo atrocious......the moaning and groaning was way overdone.......I was literally cracking up listening to it.....
The next scene, a menage a trois with two girls and one guy, was marginally better, but we're talking only comparatively here...... The dialogue through the whole video was pretty awful but I think the epitome was a scene with a girl who was supposed to be a hooker but looked like she was about 14 and this balding guy with a ponytail. God this guy was obnoxious......"you don't want the money you just want to suck my dick".......this is the type of guy I smack in the head at bars. I suppose some men will be turned on by this type of talk, but by this scene I had fully realized that this script was not written with the female would-be masturbator in mind.......
I know that many guys actually get turned on by watching less-than perfect men in porn get laid, but damn at least make the girls take a shower......or fix their Lee Press on nails....personally, as I said earlier, I just would rather see attractive people fucking....
Speaking as a former video student, I must say the the editing in this flick was not up to par either. In one scene I actually saw a glimpse of one of the other cameras...big no-no.....And the camera man seemed to be on crack without a tripod.......
The mandatory lesbian scene was a little better....at least the chicks weren't too bad looking.....
Now I must admit I didn't fast forward this one at all.......even if it was only because i was enthralled by the horrendousness....and the sex itself wasn't really all that bad......I had to play with myself......of course that doesn't mean anything...a shampoo commercial can get me hot...heh. In any case, it seemed to me that whoever was in charge of details for this production was just plain lazy. I suppose many guys aren't really concerned with fingernails and bad camera angles, but i tend to be anal about little things like that......If you want a good laugh, on the other hand, then and only then would I recommend Lapdance.... - Supreme Goddess
Lapdance is available directly from Sin City Video.