Courtesy of Zane Video. For more on Zane, go to

In Your Face 3 (Zane, 98)

Starring:AMIA AMORE, SUGAR, LUSHES, JEREMY IRON, SAMANTHA WOOD, URSULA MOORE.
Directed By: Mark Zane

• OVERALL: * 1/2
• SEX: *
• ACTING: n/a
• SCRIPT: n/a
• J.O.P.: *
• FAST-FORWARDING: *
• EDITING: *
• CONDOMS: NO

Rating is on a scale of 1-5. 1 being poor, 3 being average, and 5 being exceptional. For an explanation of the review criteria, click here

This has got to be one of the worst porno films I have ever has the discomfort of seeing. If you like fat, nasty girls, a skinny twelve year old looking girl with a ton of metal in her face, and close-ups of unattractive rumps, then this is the flick for you. Scene One: This begins with an introduction of the girls and jumps right into a carpet cleaning frenzy with the aid of strap-ons and dildos galore. Let your imagination figure the rest out. Oh, and by the way, where's the music? The only redeeming qualities to this scene are the two blonde sisters with nice bodies and deep tans, if you are interested in that sort of thing.

Scene two has got to be the most uninspiring "lay" ever filmed. First off, this slut has the body and face of a twelve year old alter boy. This malnourished "exotic dancer" decided to make her porn debut in a room more suited for filling out an application at her local Circle-K. Her film debut should have been entitled "Anal Skanks in a Solid Blue Room". On a note about safe sex, a condom was worn, even though this harlot either didn't know how to put one on correctly, or she was too drunk to remember how. Once again, where's the music?

Scene three: JESUS CHRIST!! Are the scraping porno stars from the bottom of the barrel or what? If you have a fetish for an ugly girl with a pimple and bruise covered ass and bad tattoos, this is the scene you might want to put in slow motion. No condom was worn. Enough said, except for one last question...where's the goddamn music?

Scene four: Have you ever seen Howard Sterns Rotten New Year's Eve Pageant? Remember Miss Fried Egg Tits? Well, this is her body double. Oh, and guys, don't take any "oral" tips from Jr., OK? Is it common practice to wear socks and shoes with no underwear or pants? I'm not sure, but this guy looks like he has only one testicle. And guess what, there's no music, but I think she farted, if that counts. He was wearing a condom for those of you who want to see a safe sex flick.

Last and certainly least: Hungarian chick with a "brother." No rubber. No music. All Anal. The End. - - Pazuzu

Review Key:

Reviewed on a scale of 1-5 stars. OVERALL, SCRIPT, EDITING - self explanatory. SEX - the amount and quality of. ACTING - can be actually good, or good in a bad way, in the sense that it is so bad it is entertaining. J.O.P. - Jerk-Off Potential. FAST-FORWARDING - the urge to hit that FF button, be it during dialog, rehashed sex-scenes, whatever. The more stars, the less fast-forwarding. EDITING - somewhat related to fast forwarding. Do they show a ball shot for too long? The same angle for an eternity?

Contents | Music Reviews | Porno Reviews | Music Interviews | Porn Interviews | Live Reviews | Porn Gossip | Editorials | Mailing List | About Us | Contact Information & Our Policy | Playlists | Links | Back Issues/Archives

Unchain the Underground
Contact us via email