Girl Thing (JM PRODUCTIONS/LEGEND VIDEO, 98)
Starring: KATIE GOLD, GWEN SUMMERS, CHANDLER, HEAVEN LEIGH, JACKLYN LICK, FELICIA, ELIZABETH X
Directed By: Jefferey Wolf
- OVERALL: * 1/2
- SEX: * *
- ACTING: *
- SCRIPT: * 1/2
- J.O.P.: * *
- FAST-FORWARDING: *
- EDITING: * * 1/2
- CONDOMS?: NO (It's a lesbo flick you idiot)
Sweet Jesus, this sucks, and not in the good way. This movie is boring as all living hell, the girls look about as enthused as autistic children at a marathon showing of "The 3 Ninjas" movies. There is NO script, just different locations. Wow. This is garbage.
First off, if you're going to make a porn with no dialogue, it might be nice to do something a little different from other films. The Einstein behind this picture didn't think of this, and all there is the same old same old; two girls on a beach going down on each other (one of them wearing fucking running shoes, what is this shit, in a hurry, have a naked-except-sneakers meeting to go to afterwards, what the fuck?), two girls by a pool making out - uh-oh, a strap-on! How clever. I actually don't even remember the girls making any noise, but I might have gone catatonic with boredom, so don't take my word for it.
I would have expected better, since Legend Video has been getting us some very exciting stuff, but this is not one of them. There are big names in this video: Katie Gold, Jacklyn Lick, and up and comer Gwen Summers (who looks cute as ever. I picked Katie Gold as someone that would become big in the indusrty when I first saw her, and Gwen looks to be heading down the same path. - Piston Rod.), but unfortunitly their talents are wasted. I don't mind crediting a great movie, but I must also point out a shitty piece of quickly thrown together garbage when I see it too. Oh well, I'll just wait for Legen to send the next video from Max Hardcore. That will make up for this.
The editing is the best part of this film, because the sooner these scenes ended the better. I'd rather beat off watching "The Golden Girls." - Him