Starring: Meridian, Candy Hill, Kira, Jazz, Morgan Lefey, Porsha, Lennox.
- OVERALL: * *
- SEX: * * *
- ACTING: * *
- SCRIPT: * * *
- J.O.P.: * *
- FAST-FORWARDING: *
- EDITING: * * *
Pornos are not good "films." Especially pro-am. They're poorly shot, poorly acted, and one dimensional. And they're wonderful. I watch them often. However, I brought up the "film" reference to make a point. Unless it's got a decent budget, a porno should never try to be anything more than good scenes of people having sex. That's why we watch them. Johnny Toxic's tongue-in-cheek Action Man tries too hard to entertain. And it doesn't work. If you have cable, then you've seen low budget cable access shows. Take out the sex scenes from A.M., and you basically have what looks like a movie shot for such a show.
After a good pro-am style intro, the first scene of A.M. goes through a lengthy James Bond-like set of shots that are a cure for an erection. Thank god for remote fast forwarding. We get a quick look at the first girl playing with herself in a warehouse, which has serious potential, but is ruined by the shear brevity of the shots. I found myself pausing just to get a good look. The first actual sex scene finally gets under way with the same girl and is definitely my favorite (I have a hankering for girls with big, tight asses. Much back!). She looks like she might be ugly, but keeps her sunglasses and most of her clothes on so you never really see how bad she is. The fantasy is kept alive admirably. Also, an opening scene that's anal is always a plus for me.
"Cheer up Chaaarlie! Give me a smile!"
After the first scene we go through one ridiculously long group of shots after another. They're loaded with effects that are right out of an 80's MTV video. I did a "Cheer Up Charlie"* straight through all of them. There's an awful three way with two ugly girls that's simply not up to even a bargain bin standard. For a guy known for being a filth, Johnny Toxic is surprisingly lame here. The rest of the scenes would be good filler for an already good movie, but left me needing to fantasize to finally bust a nut.
Although I haven't seen many of Toxic's films, I think it would do him some good to go and study films by people that do a lot more with a small budget. Ron Jeremy and Ed Powers are two that quickly come to mind. (Ed's got his fair share of problems too, though. Shut up, Ed!) Because this is my first review, I really wanted to say good things about this movie. It just falls short. So did my nut. - Blind Lemon Pie
*For those who don't know this reference, there's a song in the movie Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory called "Cheer Up Charlie" that needs fast forwarding every time.
Action Man is available directly from Sin City Video.